She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im holly from the hills drunk
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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