he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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