So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
