Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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