like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
