I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
