Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
