problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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