Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
