his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
