Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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