So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
