I feel great
I just peed on a car
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
