okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
