i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
