Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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