using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
