you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
