can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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