your thong is hanging out like whoa
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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