I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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