feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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