i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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