We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
