Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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