so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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