You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
