I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
