I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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