Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
