So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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