my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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