He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
