have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
not ubering you a puppy
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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