So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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