So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
