I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
