Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
