I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
