You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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