The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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