So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
