So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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