You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
