Well douche your snatch and let's go!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
