we're blogging at a bar
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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