: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
