I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
