Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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