dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
