why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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