it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
should my penis look like a turkey
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
