I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
