How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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