Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
