You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
