Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
A+ Viking dick
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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