i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
